Sobering....that is all I can say about the day today. Today we witness the greatest dehumanizing and evil acts I have ever personally witnessed. You cannot walk away from the Killing Fields and S21 Prison with out being deeply affected by the suffering humans can impose on one another and ask yourself how can it not happen again?

S21 - an old school was transformed into a torture prison for people the Khmer Rouge expected of being enemies of the country. Most of them were just educated people or had previously had an position in the government. Here they were brought to endure mind blowing torture techniques to extract confessions out of them - most of which were made up by those torturing. If they didn't die eventually they would be hauled off in trucks 2-3 times a month to a Killing Field 15K outside the capital. Blindfolded, hands tied behind their backs, they were knelt beside a mass grave and killed. Chemicals poured immediately on them to ease the smell of dead bodies or kill those who were buried alive. The area is marked with a tall monument filled with skulls and bones of those they exhumed. As you walk around the area you not only feel the evil, you see it - the clothes of those killed are still being pushed up to the top of the soil - random bones still being brought to the surface. A tree next to a mass grave for babies and women was the monument of babies heads being smalled against the tree before thrown in with the others. Over one third of the countries population died under the Khmer Rouge regime - it makes you stop and realize the magnitude of this war. Over 340 of these prisons existed and thousands of killing fields like the one we visited dot the country.

Like the Nazi's in world war 2 the Khmer Rouge took detailed notes and pictures of all their prisoners. You walk through the school rooms where prisoners lay waiting to have fingernails ripped out, hands tied behind their backs and lifted up and down until they passed out, and beat over and over again. You can feel the fear they must have felt as you look at the chain used to lock them to their cell. The pictures of victims cover the entire first floor of one of the buildings - gaze at the faces of thousands of people who entered this prison only to be killed - a life unknown aside from a picture.

I have to ask myself questions like what is the responsibility I have so that situations like this cannot happen again? I'm reading a book right now called, "The Girl in the Picture" about a girl from Vietnam affected by the war (you'll know the famous picture if you look it up). She shares, at least at this point in the book, the effect America pulling out of the war had on the people of the south - many more people suffered. I question getting involved in somebody elses war but I saw the quote I keep at the bottom of my e-mails written on a wall today, "All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing". In no way am saying America is the answer - but I am saying don't people have an obilgation? As a Christian who wants to speak up and defend the rights of the poor and the destitute - do I not owe something to getting myself involved? Knowing what is going on in the world? Learning and advocating help? What does one person do? Pol Pot was 1 person - and he destroyed the lives of hundreds of thousands - 1 person can make a difference. We want the good difference.

Moments in Mae Sot

Such a hot day and off to the city dump we go. I sat at the edge of the truck bed handing out clothes to the eager hands pressing around me. The children were covered in dirt and soot from the fires they had burned. Looking around you see piles of trash with tarps for houses built directly on top. A few of the more fortunate had a bamboo hut slightly above the trash to keep them off the heaps of garbage. Be careful not to inhale the flies that swarm about; with each step you took over the ground 20 more would rise up to meet your face. Humbly a lady invited us to sit in her house; a sobering moment. I walked away from that place filled with so many thoughts. Sadness for the people there. Thinking that is how we must look to God - when so much lush land is right next to us we still choose to stay on the trash. They are human, they deserve dignity, love, and respect. Filled with joy remembering the ecstatic smiles as each person gleefully took a piece of clothing; seeing a shirtless man put on a shirt and wear it proudly. And also that Americans need to give smaller pieces of clothing. :-)

After the staff meeting the Campasio staff eats together. One of the boys from the prison baby house decided he wanted to stay with me. He ate his fried rice on my lap - being only 3 or 4 (or my lack of Burmese to tell him to stop throwing it on the ground) he made a huge mess on the floor around me. When he left I was surrounded by rice to the amusement of the rest of the group telling me I should learn how to eat properly.

At the home for children who were left on the streets with out parents a 10-12 year old girl came and sat on my lap. She pulled my arms around her tighter and tighter to make sure I didn't let go. Just a little love - it goes a long way.

Our last day at the Drop-In Center I had walked about 8 blocks with a little boy, aged 10, who was carrying his little sister sleeping. His bare, dirty, calloused feet knew the path so well. His sister was sleeping so deep it seemed like she was sick. She didn't move when he'd adjust the scarf tied around his chest to hold her. When we reached the drop in center I took her and held her in my arms, he ran away to be a child for an hour. I wanted to cry for him. I sat there holding the sleeping baby and watched the 1 mother that came everyday get so angry at her son she tried to slap and grab him. She was lazy so she didn't run after him when he ran way. However,when she saw him returning she did jump up to walk a few steps to the edge of the doorway to pick up a giant piece of broken cement to throw at her son. I remember getting Titus' attention because I didn't want to see a bloody child. She sat back down after he ran away again...my mind could only think about his fate later. Uggghhhh! No wonder these children punch and beat each other all the time, they don't know any other example. I realized because I was holding the baby I had put my legs straight out with the bottom of them exposed in front of me (bottom of feet in Thailand = being rude). But I didn't even care (at least not for a few moments until I felt God's reminder to still love her) because I realized they were pointing at the mom who was going to throw a rock at her son. I would've cried right there if I could've - I became so grateful for Campasio and the work they do.

Oh it is cold!!!! Just go! I can't jump - how deep is it?!?! What a spectacular waterfall! The cold, refreshing, mountain water rushes around us playing like little kids and screaming with delight.

Frog? It's OK because it's seasoned well. No - those bamboo worms aren't like the last ones I had....not that tasty. Roti please - fresh and warm the sweet bread saturated with sweet & condensed milk melts in the mouth!

She took me by the hand and lead me up the steep stairs to her room she shared with 1other. On the wooden floor she pulled out her secret box - an Operation Christmas Child box. She looked at my face to make sure I was eyeing all the prized possessions she'd received. One by one she pulled out little treasures. A washcloth was one of her favorites - her eyes big as she searched for delight in my eyes as I saw her gift.